I can't really believe I'm writing this, and I even waited a whole extra month to write it. But you are one. Baby boy, you are one.
This year has been an amazing and incredible blur of happy, struggle, adjustment and learning.
Learning, mainly, who you are.
Clayton, you are a mystery. An enigma. A uniquely different you.
I tried for most of the day to think of the right metaphor, but nothing really applies. You are too distinct and too particular. I cannot even compare you to anything with enough sense to make a metaphor.
I would love to use some flowery language to make you sound amazing, because you are amazing. But there are parts of you that cannot be solved by some proper diction.
You are quick to emotion, and you feel it down to your soul and back again. Your cries are purposeful and angry and direct. You know what you want, and although you cannot express it to us, you are sure to let us know you are unhappy.
You remain an observer--the way you have been since birth. You reserve your smiles for a few, and they are earned after much work. Strangers who coo and aw over your adorable hair and features are frequently met with a blank stare, or even a calculated glare. You love to go places just to watch, but often wait quite some time before joining in.
There is a real light in you, Clayton. In the same way that you feel your anger, you feel your love. You love hard, and with your whole little self. You are a mama's boy, but you absolutely adore your daddy, and greet him with a wave and a HI DADA. You love your teacher beyond measure, to where you are rude to other teachers when she leaves. Most of all, though, and number one in your world--you love your sister. You look at her like she IS the world. She loves you right back, and your relationship has been the best thing that has ever happened to me.
In statistics, you are still in a lot of 12 month clothes, but also wear some 18. You have a tiny head that has crashed down your chart. You willingly try most foods now. You are just over 21 pounds. You have the same feet your sister has and you are wearing a size 3. You can say mama and hi dada, and you can sign Please, More, Thank You, and we are working on All Done and Help.
Clayton, you are a sheer and utter delight. I didn't even know I was missing you, but I was. You are more than the piece that fixed my broken heart--you ARE my heart. I am so very thankful for you, and I can't wait to watch you continue to grow.
All photos taken by the amazingly talented Ashley Vos Photography