Monday, July 13, 2015

Baby boy, you are one.

Dear Clayton,

I can't really believe I'm writing this, and I even waited a whole extra month to write it. But you are one. Baby boy, you are one.

This year has been an amazing and incredible blur of happy, struggle, adjustment and learning. 

Learning, mainly, who you are.

Clayton, you are a mystery. An enigma. A uniquely different you.

I tried for most of the day to think of the right metaphor, but nothing really applies. You are too distinct and too particular. I cannot even compare you to anything with enough sense to make a metaphor. 



I would love to use some flowery language to make you sound amazing, because you are amazing. But there are parts of you that cannot be solved by some proper diction.

You are quick to emotion, and you feel it down to your soul and back again. Your cries are purposeful and angry and direct. You know what you want, and although you cannot express it to us, you are sure to let us know you are unhappy.

You remain an observer--the way you have been since birth. You reserve your smiles for a few, and they are earned after much work. Strangers who coo and aw over your adorable hair and features are frequently met with a blank stare, or even a calculated glare. You love to go places just to watch, but often wait quite some time before joining in. 


There is a real light in you, Clayton. In the same way that you feel your anger, you feel your love. You love hard, and with your whole little self. You are a mama's boy, but you absolutely adore your daddy, and greet him with a wave and a HI DADA. You love your teacher beyond measure, to where you are rude to other teachers when she leaves. Most of all, though, and number one in your world--you love your sister. You look at her like she IS the world. She loves you right back, and your relationship has been the best thing that has ever happened to me.


In statistics, you are still in a lot of 12 month clothes, but also wear some 18. You have a tiny head that has crashed down your chart. You willingly try most foods now. You are just over 21 pounds. You have the same feet your sister has and you are wearing a size 3. You can say mama and hi dada, and you can sign Please, More, Thank You, and we are working on All Done and Help. 

Clayton, you are a sheer and utter delight. I didn't even know I was missing you, but I was. You are more than the piece that fixed my broken heart--you ARE my heart. I am so very thankful for you, and I can't wait to watch you continue to grow.

All photos taken by the amazingly talented Ashley Vos Photography

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

11 Months!!


I really absolutely cannot believe that in one month, this little guy will be one. It's mind blowing!

Time is flying by and this little guy is growing up so quickly.

He's CRAWLING!! He did it! It took forever but he sure loves it now. He also is convinced he can walk, which results in a lot of letting go and bonking. He cannot walk lol.

He is finally starting to eat, too! He really loves protein--pork and steak are his favorites so far. He is hit or miss with veggies and rejects just about every fruit. Texture? Who knows.

He is still the cuddliest, snuggliest little boy I know. He loves to cuddle in and give hugs, lay on someone, sit on your lap...any of it. Touch is definitely his love language!

Clayton remains an observer in new situations. He does not jump right in to things the way his sister does. He sits back, watches, stares, plays a poker face with his expressions and assesses whether or not he wants to be involved.

He is mainly in 12 month but crossing into 18 for just about everything.

He hates hats, loud noises, fruit and not finding a binky.

He loves his sister, his doggie, his binky, the car, his school.

Every second with Clay is the new best second of my life. I love him so much! 

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

10 Months

Dearest Clayton,

You are 2 months away from turning one.

I can hardly believe time has gone by so quickly. It seems like only yesterday, I had you swrapped up in a little ball on my chest, as you gazed up at me with knowing eyes. 

It's cocky to say that I know you fell in love with me in those moments, but it's the truth. Those first moments between us began our bond, and it has been unbreakable.

Clayton, you are an equal opportunity cuddler, but Mommy trumps all. There are moments when it is clear that all you want is just to be touching me in some way. You are calmed instantly. And while Mrs. Amanda is a close second so far as your velco-status, you are my little best friend, my closest buddy, and my sweetest shadow.

As you have grown, we see more of your personality emerge and take shape. You have a very goofy side, and you love to laugh and shriek and clap. But you reserve those moments for when you feel totally at ease, or are surrounded by those you know well. In public, and with new people, you are not skiddish, but you are not warm. You are stoic and reserved--gazing, open eyes, taking in every situation, playing your cards close to your chest. It is hard to make you crack a smile when you are surveying your surroundings.

That said, you do love to be out in the world. Travel is easy with you--you are happy in your car seat, you love being worn, and so long as we are willing to accommodate your desire to be held when YOU decide to be, we can take you basically anywhere. Saturday, we will leave on our first trip, you and I going to Seattle, and I am eager to see how you react.

Your sister is still the sun in your universe. You have taken to rolling through hallways and to bathrooms just to be nearer to her. (Your rolling is hilarious, and I actually hope you do not crawl!). In her words, "I know we're best friends, buddy. We're best friends." She loves you, and you love her and it is the single-most amazing thing I have ever experienced.



 Clayton, I love you with a ferocity that words cannot explain. Even when you're screaming and being "the worst," You are the cutest little human I have ever encountered, and I am so thankful every day to have you in my world.


Wednesday, February 25, 2015

9 months! Holy cow!


Our silly little guy is now 3 months away from turning one! I can barely believe it! Time is flying by.

Clayton is growing and learning and changing so much. But lots of his personality traits remain the same.

He is firmly a mama's boy, further proven by his proper use of his FIRST word, mama :) 

Clayton's interest in food is growing, but his gag reflex is not. He still tends to throw up the entire contents of his stomach when he eats something "real." So for now, he is still eating purees. He loves carrots and sweet potatoes. He's not so much a fan of pears or peaches. 

Clayton loves his sophie, any pacifier he can find, playing with his big sister, watching the doggie, and STANDING. He cannot get enough of standing.

He is still not crawling. We, along with his daycare providers, are convinced he just will not. He will roll places until he learns to walk. 

He had a very, very difficult month with illness. He was diagnosed with bronchiolitis to start the month, and was sick with that for about a week. Then he got better, and then he got worse and crashed even harder. This resulted in three back-to-back days at the doctor's office, where they were constantly debating whether to send him to the hospital. On the worst day, Chris was at the doctor with him for 4 hours. They did 4 breathing treatments and an xray, and settled on pneumonia as his diagnosis. He got a huge shot of antibiotic, and did a course of another one, and he finally seems to be back to 100% and breathing-trouble free. 

His sleep is an absolute disaster. After figuring it out, mostly, for the last month or so, we are back at chaotic square one. He wakes up around 10:30/11 and cries for nearly two hours. We have tried Ferber, we have tried going in, we have tried NOT going in, we have tried rocking him. Nothing works. I'm actually chatting with a sleep consultant next week because I.am.exhausted.

Clayton is just like me in a lot of ways. He is picky, he wants things when HE wants them, and he wants them the WAY he wants them. He loves hugs and cuddles, and is happiest when he is in someone's arms. He's an absolute lovebug, and even though I yawn all day because of him, I look forward, every day, to the moment he is back next to me. 




Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Clayton at 8 months


Our smiley little Clayton is officially 8 months old and I can barely believe. Time is just RACING by. 

Poor Clayton got hit with a big time sickness last week. Some kind of viral hell was unleashed on my poor, sweet boy. His eye turned red, he had a terrible cough and congestion, he was wheezing, he spiked a 60 hour fever of over 102--suffice it to say, he was miserable. We took a trip to the ER to make sure his breathing was ok, and saw two other doctors over 5 days. He is finally finally finally on the mend, but he is still crying when he coughs and oozing snot. Evelyn was never that sick as a baby (the worst she had was ear infections) so I am SURE we overreacted, but I don't really care. We have health insurance to ensure our sanity as much as anything ;)

Clayton's personality is slowly starting to emerge. He is a talkative little guy, who loves to make sure you hear him. Whether he is Bah Bah Bah-ing in conversation, or angrily blowing raspberries at things he doesn't like (like his inhaler and mask), he is not afraid to be a part of the conversation.

Clayton has shown no interest in crawling. He got up on his knees once for a moment, and that's been about it. We joke that he won't crawl at all, and he will just keep rolling until it's time to walk. He REALLY loves to stand, but he hasn't pulled himself up on his own yet. 

He is starting to get good at feeding himself puffs, so I really need to get on top of his BLW and giving him real food. His gag reflex seems to be calming down. 

He is in love with his sister. Just seeing her makes him smile and laugh. She plays with him and includes him so well. He also loves his teacher, Ms. Amanda, very much. Clayton is still a cuddler, and will now reach to us to be on our laps. 

Clay isn't doing much otherwise--he's not into imitating sounds yet, hasn't waved...I think he's a little lazy :) But he's perfect, and sweet, and the same little observer he has always been. He loves being worn at daddy's basketball games, and looking around at all the things there are to see.

Ican'tevenwiththesetwo.